How To Handle A Diva Bride (And How Not To Be One!) - Part II

It's time for Part II of our spotlight on Diva brides!

Dealing with a Diva bride - commonly known as "Bridezilla" - can be a sticky situation, made all the more uncomfortable if the bride is a close friend or family member. So how do you put up with the bride's Diva ways, and is it possible to put her in her place without destroying your friendship? Glad you asked.

What do do if you're the friend/bridesmaid/co-worker:
- If you aren't a part of the wedding party, sometimes it's good to simply provide a listening ear and nod empathetically. Any normal girl can seem like a Diva bride if all she needs is a lunchtime venting session. However, if these lunchtime venting sessions turn into a daily ritual, maybe it's best to avoid her until she returns from her honeymoon, tan and in newlywedded bliss.

- If you are a part of the wedding party and the Diva bride's Diva-ness is directly affecting you, perhaps it's time to take some subtle action. Here's one idea. Take the Diva bride out for a cup of coffee. Bring your laptop or a notebook. As you enjoy your lattes, you and the bride can make a checklist of what needs to be done and by when. Let her vent, then subtly suggest some ways she might navigate through a few of her challenges.

- Another helpful hint: if you make a suggestion to a stressed-out Diva bride, try disguising your advice as a question. For example- No: "Just pick out a caterer already!" Yes: "You need to select a caterer? What are your options? Do you want to make a pro/con list?" Questions instead of instructions or suggestions will make the bride less defensive. Often, a Diva bride simply needs to know that someone's in her corner.

- If all else fails, forget subtlety and buy her an early wedding gift.

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How To Handle A Diva Bride (And How Not To Be One!) - Part I

We've all experienced it... whether as a bridesmaid, a co-worker, or just a quiet observer - the Diva bride. Commonly referred to as "Bridezilla," the Diva bride is said to roam city streets, yelling at cake decorators and photographers, leaving a trail of trampled bridesmaids in her wake.

What do you do if you stumble upon a Diva bride - and happen to be a member of her wedding party? What if you hear someone yelling into her cell phone about how all her friends MUST attend her bachelorette party in Las Vegas NO MATTER WHAT, YES EVEN THE PREGNANT ONE, and when you glance over at her, it's your reflection staring back at you?

Perhaps some stress-relieving tips are in order to keep the upcoming wedding day, be it yours or your best friend's, in perspective.

Part I: If you're the bride...
- Consider hiring a wedding planner. Coming from an event-planning blog, I realize this is biased advice. But a wedding planner or at least a "day of" consultant can handle the details of your wedding day without breaking a sweat. This can really take some weight off of your shoulders. If a wedding planner isn't in your budget, ask a reliable friend (who isn't part of your wedding party) to follow up on the most important day-of details, like the caterer and deejay.

- Be as organized as possible. Whether this means making a checklist using a wedding website or downloading a wedding planning app to your phone, knowing what lies ahead will make for a smoother ride.

- While we're talking organization, here's a good way to make sure you stay on schedule: mark your wedding date in your calendar then move backwards, marking all the important milestones as you go. By important milestones I mean your bachelorette party and bridal shower, along with booking your reception venue, hotel rooms, travel arrangements, and more. I use this strategy for deadlines at work, too.

- This is easier said than done, but try to put yourself in the other person's shoes if something isn't going your way. If a friend can't afford to attend your bachelorette party, if your kooky aunt insists on bringing her equally kooky "friend" Richard, if you hear a rumor about your bridesmaids wanting to throw you off a cliff - take 30 seconds to consider the situation from the other person's perspective before blowing up.

More to come on this topic in Part II of our spotlight on Diva brides. Stay tuned!

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Welcoming Out-of-Town Wedding Guests

Any bride knows that guests will often travel far and wide to witness your big day and the fun that goes with it. As the bride, you're also playing hostess to your wedding guests. So, how do you make your out-of-town guests feel welcome?

- Create a wedding website listing all the important information - the day and time you plan to tie the knot, the location of your ceremony and reception, and registry information. When you send out your Save the Dates, include your website with your other wedding information. This will appease all your guests, not just the out-of-towners!

- On your wedding website, create a section specifically for out-of-town guests where you can suggest hotels, restaurants, and even tourist activities around your city. If you've blocked rooms at a particular hotel for your wedding weekend, be sure to include this information as well.

- Create "welcome packets" for those staying in a hotel - you can enlist your bridesmaids to help assemble and distribute them. Some ideas of what to throw in: a pocket-sized city guide, a gift card (think $5/person) to a local coffee shop, a list of your favorite restaurants & the location of each, and perhaps a snack like some homemade chocolate chip cookies. You could throw everything into an adorable bag, like this one!

Wouldn't you love to check into your hotel and receive this cute packet upon arrival? What a great way to let your guests know that you're glad they're a part of your wedding.

- In your wedding program, write a special "thank you note" to all of your guests, making special mention of those who traveled long distances to be there.

The most impactful thing you can do is personally greet your out-of-town guests either at your wedding or reception. After all, they've come to see you, so make sure they do just that!

What to Wear to a Wedding: Decoding Dress Codes

The appropriate outfit to wear to a wedding can be a confusing issue. While many wedding invitations don't specify the attire of their guests, some do. With anything from "cocktail attire" to "black tie optional" penned on the invitation (or implied by the bride), it's sometimes hard to know what the fashion expectations are for a wedding. So, here are some suggestions to make your decision a little easier.

If the invitation says...

Business Attire: Another way to say this is Smart Casual. For men, this would mean slacks and a sport coat with a collared shirt and tie. Suits are fine as well. For women, a sheath dress is ideal, and you could liven it up with some fun accessories. These types of outfits are great for a wedding in the late morning or early afternoon.

Cocktail Attire: For men, a dark suit. For women, a short (think knee, not thigh) but formal dress is appropriate. Basically the same as Semi-Formal Attire, this is for a wedding occurring after 5 PM.
Black Tie: Other forms of this might say Black Tie Optional or Black Tie Invited. If it's optional, this gives men the opportunity to wear tuxedos (or formal suits), while women wear anything from cocktail dresses to evening gowns. If "optional" isn't part of the dress code, it's best to be overdressed rather than undressed in my opinion.
Do you have any dress code questions that we haven't answered? Let us know in the comments!

{Special thanks to Polyvore for helping me create the looks you see here.}

Wedding Etiquette: Your Questions, Answered

Planning your wedding is exciting, but it's not without its challenges. Here are a few common wedding planning questions along with a suggested answer. Feel free to comment with your own perspective!

Q: "Should I invite my co-workers to my wedding?"

A: Only invite your co-workers to your wedding if you consider them to be very good friends. Just like the rest of your guest list, think about whose presence will add to the significance of your wedding day. Send your wedding invitations to your co-workers' home addresses as opposed to hand delivering them. And of course, minimize wedding-related talk at the office.

Q: "Our guest list is out of control. How do my fiancé and I decide who to invite and who to cut?"

A: Make an A-list and a B-list. A's are family and your closest friends. B's are everyone else - high school & college friends, parents' friends, etc. Send out your A-list invites early to gauge the RSVP rate. Cut the B-list down by asking yourself questions like, When did you last speak to that person? Would having that person at your wedding make or break your experience? Also, don't feel obligated to put "and guest" on your single friends' invitations, especially if they know others at the wedding.

Q: "Is it ok to call people if I haven't received their RSVP response card?"

A: Of course! Don't assume that someone you took the time to invite isn't coming if you haven't received their card. After all, their response card could be hidden in a stack of old mail. Better safe than sorry, right?

Q: "Wedding finances are so complicated! Who is supposed to pay for what?"

A: The short answer is that you have to figure out what works best for you and your fiancé - and your families. Check out this article from mywedding.com that pretty much explains it all.

Q: "My fiancé and I are having a small wedding. How can I be sure not to offend my non-invited friends?"

A: Simply explain that that the nature of your wedding makes it impossible to invite absolutely everyone in your lives. While you can't help it if a friend's feelings get hurt, hopefully they'll look at it from your position, and will understand.

Do you have any unanswered questions about wedding etiquette? Did you navigate through a sticky situation, and want to share your experience? Let us know in the comments!